I have come to the conclusion that I hate squirrels. I haven’t always felt that way. I used to think of them as cute little animals scurrying around in a benevolent search for the perfect acorn. Maybe it was from watching Chip & Dale (yes I realize Chip n Dale were really chipmunks) cartoons as a child. I don’t know, but I had no pre-conceived Squirrel bias.
Now I know better. I have come to recognize them as the chattering, beady eyed little bastards they really are. It all started a few months ago with a bird feeder.
We started selling Coles gourmet bird seed in the store. So I thought hmm, maybe I should give this bird feeding thing a try. After all, to be a knowledgeable salesperson I should at least try the product. Here the trouble begins. You see I have this neighbor who likes to feed the squirrels. They have corn cobs, peanuts and even pecans scattered all over the yard. A veritable squirrel buffet. We have a pretty healthy squirrel population on my street. I have another neighbor that has 20 cats. You would think there would be some squirrel population decline.
One particular squirrel, for some unknown reason, ignores all of the goodies next door. He focused on my Bird Feeder. So I have been in a BATTLE for several weeks now. I tried metal feeders, squirrel proof feeders and every other thing I could think of. Finally a solution. Coles makes a bird seed called Hot Meats to fight the problem. It seems that birds don’t taste Capsaicin, the compound in peppers that makes them hot. Squirrels do and don’t like it. This bird seed is HOT. I know that because I got the brilliant idea of tasting it. Bad mistake.
I thought that I had won. I filled the feeder. All went well. The birds seemed as happy as usual. And the squirrel stayed away. He didn’t really leave. Just sort of skirted around and chattered defiantly. I took pleasure in my victory. It was short lived.
One night I came home late and decided to grill a steak. I went out to heat up the grill, reached down to turn on the propane tank and was blasted with a cloud of propane gas. I was a little baffled, that hadn’t ever happened before. I bent down to look at the tank and realized he had gotten me back.